The Crisis and the Process of Growing Up

Growing up is a process. Slow and gradual.

But there comes a point where everything changes. Thinking changes. From that point on, one understands that they are now a man, and no longer a boy; are now a woman, and no longer a girl.

That doesn't mean there won't be some boyish/girly behavior. But the thinking is different. The understanding and the goals are different. Today, he understands that he is a man.

Some cultures have a specific rite to commemorate or encourage this occurrence. Some hold special ceremonies, others require deeds of bravery to done at a certain age. Some have initiation, and some simply give more responsibility. But in most cultures, there is a community expectation that encourages this change.

The United States doesn't have a specific rite. The closest would probably be gaining the right to vote at age 18 and being able to drink at age 21. I wonder if our lack of emphasis on and recognition of growing up has contributed to some of our cultural concerns -- "soft men", immaturity, and children who happen to be 35. . . .

I think this change often happens naturally at key events. High School Graduation, College Graduation, Marriage, etc. Perhaps the most specific change would be at marriage. There is a community expectation that behavior will change when someone gets married, and they will act 'more grown up'. How many times have we heard the phrase "settle down and get married"?

This change is a not a point where we are suddenly "grown up". It is a point where we decide to be grown up. Something changes on the inside. Our goals change. Our focus changes. All of a sudden, at one point or crisis, life begins to revolve around "grown up" things. We understand new responsibilities. We must no longer act as children. We have had the crisis; we will be grown up.

The process does not stop; the crisis accelerates the growth.

(A life illustration of sanctification)

In so many similar ways, our spiritual life reflects our physical life. Our spiritual life has been described as both a crisis and a process. When we were saved, we began a consistent pattern of spiritual growth (I hope!). But there often comes a point where God challenges us with the question of how "grown up" we will be spiritually. Will we really commit everything to Him? Will we love and serve Him no matter what happens - good or bad? Our response to this challenge determines our spiritual maturity. Will we remain a spiritual child, or will we accept the responsibility and make the commitment?

The process does not stop; the crisis accelerates the growth.