To quiet the concern of right-wing conservatives, Hykler Mountebank has proposed a new birth-choice agreement to the UN Human Rights Council. This concession is a kind response to the concern that "the unborn have no 'choice.'" In short, Mountebank believes that the unborn, a minority group with very little protection, should have equal rights, and not be discriminated against. "It's Democratic, it's bi-partisan, and it's right," he stated.
The proposal is really quite simple, and builds upon already adopted standard practice. When an abortion is being considered, the doctor will be required to state this question, "Do you want to live, or are you willing to die for the good of society?" The question must be stated 3 times in the baby's assumed native language (the language the baby is expected to speak in the future). It is also to be repeated 3 times in "feeish," supposedly the language of babies. "Feetish" is the product of research conducted by the University of Berzerkly, investigating a fetus' response to a mother's heartbeat and voice.Following the question, the baby's response is determined by ultrasound. The proper response is either a thumbs-up or thumbs-down. The interpretation of the response is to be determined solely by the doctor in charge. Left-wing partisans from both sides hail this proposal as a "grand step" in defending the defenseless.
The UN is expected to be slow to adopt the resolution, however. Opposition is driven by nations where the thumbs-up sign has very negative connotations. Several alternate signs have been discussed, but the final agreement remains to be seen.
Source:
Baloney Network - "All the news that isn't true."
